Saturday, September 22, 2012

Guilty Feline

While washing dishes at my kitchen sink, I can look straight out my window at the side of my neighbor's house.  Usually there is nothing much of interest to be seeing on the side of his house, and I wouldn't want to be accused of being a peeping tom.  However, as I scrubbed a stubborn pan, a mini-drama unfolded right before my amused eyes.

First I see this cat, calmly sitting on the window sill, watching the birds, and then carefully bathing himself in the sunshine.

Perhaps he has noticed that I am watching, for soon he slinks away and I cannot see him any more.

However, soon there is movement, sort of like a violent thrashing going on up there, and next thing you know, here is what I am looking at.

So if neighbor Pete comes home and wonders what happened, I KNOW.  The cat is busted!

We have a dog, neighbor Pete has 3 cats.  Consider the difference:

The Dog's Diary
  8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
  9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
  9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
  1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
  3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
  5:00 pm - Dinner! My favorite thing!
  7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
  8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

The Cat's Diary
Day 983 of My Captivity

    My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.
    The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates my capabilities. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. Bastards!
    There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.
    Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs.

    I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released, and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird must be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now ...

Dogs versus cats.  Hmmmmmm, I probably just made me some enemies...


  1. Your cat grand kids feel very betrayed... Beware when you come to visit...

  2. I switched to my tablet so I could comment. I be live that you hit the nail on the head with this post. I had to grin a couple of times.