Blushing in Embarrassment

A recent study has determined that most people experience embarrassment an average of four times a day.  After all, it is just natural to feel embarrassed when certain things happen, unlike the members of the animal kingdom.

Take dogs, for instance.  Dogs will shamelessly poop right out on the curb, in clear view of every passing car and pedestrian.  When have you ever seen a dog even look for a private bush behind which to do his business?

I got to thinking (I know, dangerous sometimes) about things that have embarrassed me throughout my life.  Here's a list of the first ten things that came to my mind.  I'm sure there are many others, but the fact that these pooped popped into the noggin first must mean they really made an effect at the time.

1.  Foreign objects stuck in my teeth or hanging out of my nose.  Broccoli is the worst.  Regarding the nose danglers, our family has a code of sorts that we use.  One of us alert the offender,  "There's a bat in the cave."

2.  Wardrobe malfunctions.  These include anything from pooping popping a button in the chest region, to leaving a zipper wide open (yes, girls do this too), to dragging a piece of toilet paper around on the bottom of your shoe.  At the point of realization, you will thoroughly scour your brain to determine where you were when you got into this predicament and who all may have seen you.

3.  Tripping and falling.  Any time I do this I am not only embarrassed, but I will ultimately snort stuff out of my nose and likely wet myself a little while having fits of hysterical laughter at myself.  If I even look at one of my offspring who saw, it will be worse.

4.  Pooping in public.  I mean doing the business in a bathroom other than home.  There are three main issues with this:
     What if it will take long?
     There will be no suitable means of covering up the stench.
     There could be a potential clog.
I know I am not alone in this embarrassment, folks.  Numerous others have told me of suffering throughout an entire day just in order to unload AT HOME.

5.  Slopping food down the front of my shirt, and often with an extra kablob landing right onto my crotch.  I must be good at this because I do it a lot.

6.  Flatulence.  I'm embarrassed when somebody else does it around me, and would be mortified if I were to ever do this around others.  My husband tells me it happens during the night, but I am sure he is lying.

7.  Getting reprimanded in front of others.  This could be the one that is worst for me.  Period.

8.  Misspellings.  For example, writing "pubic" when I meant "public."

9.  Walking straight into an ultra clear glass door and just about breaking my nose.  Also walking through and destroying a newly installed sliding screen door, minutes after it was installed.  Yup, I did that.

10.  Realizing I've lost my cell phone connection after talking to nobody for about five minutes.


The thing I've determined about embarrassment is that the older I get, things are just more funny and less embarrassing.  Maybe with age comes the realization that things just don't really matter as much as they seemed to when I was a teenager, and that's very freeing.  After all, I kinda enjoy laughing at myself.  "They" say laughter lowers the blood pressure, and I'm all for that.

How about you?  Wanna share some of your most embarrassing moments?

Please do, we could all enjoy a good laugh!