Here's how it goes on a typical night: I go to bed somewhere around 11:00 or 11:30 PM. Sometimes right before I turn the light off I read a bit. I try to do all the things that the sleep specialists say to do - no laptops, TV, or cell phoning in the bedroom, no caffeine after 3:00 PM, etc. blah, blah, blah. Typically I fall easily asleep.
My mind usually at this point goes into overdrive thinking about EVERYTHING and trying to solve all the problems of my small world.
I'm thinking about my husband who came through a bout of prostate cancer several years ago, and who badly wants to retire so we can travel together more and see all this great country has to offer.
I'm thinking about my oldest daughter Rachel and her family. They are trying hard to save money to buy their first home, and also dreaming of the time soon when they hope to take their 6 year old twin daughters to see the princesses at Disney World.
I'm thinking about my second daughter Lindsay and her family. Lindsay has suffered with a resistant thyroid cancer for the last 7 to 8 years and her fight goes on. Her husband Todd is very loving, and he supports her through all her tests and treatments. The difficulty of their battle with cancer has been lightened by the joy accompanying the birth one year ago of their sweet little girl, Ellie. Ellie's older brother is awesome too and we love him.
I'm thinking about my youngest child, son Caleb, who is doing all the preliminary testings, paperwork, and applications to become a warrant officer aviator in the United States Army. His dream is to fly Apache helicopters in the service of our country.
All together, these things are heavy on my mind.
I'm not bearing my heart here in order to complain. I truly believe every family has its share of hard things to deal with and these are just ours. Many families have way more difficulties and sadnesses than ours. But. And here's the deal. I have fought against this sleeplessness way too long.
I truly have so much to be thankful for.