2. Depending on your ailment, your nurse may provide you with a hospital gown to wear during your x-rays or exam. Be forewarned that the said gown will never fully cover your critical parts, and so you should not be ashamed to ask for a larger size or even ask for two gowns, the second gown will cover those embarrassing gaps. I should have thought of this before I was paraded down the main corrider to the x-ray chambers with my arse hanging out the back of the miniature gown she gave me.
3. Pay no attention to the hidden
but I still know they are there stirrups at the end of the examination table. Nor to the weird snake-like curvy light that will be used to illuminate all manor of ugliness being examined. It's kinda like not allowing yourself to look at the pink elephant standing over in the corner of the room. Use mental zen and ignore it until later.
|I don't see this, I don't see this.....|
5. Imagine what dangerous things, so dangerous that probably a medical vehicle and medical personnel in biohazard suits come to take them away, are in that Sharps container mounted on the wall. No, don't.
6. Do not bring back to your conscious recollection all previous and extremely uncomfortable incidences in which the doctor jammed those ear thingies eight inches into your ear canals. Especially if this doctor visit has something to do with vertigo or an earache.
7. If you are still waiting to be seen by the doctor (and you probably are if it hasn't been at least 1/2 hour since the nurse left), do not be tempted to move around the room and go read the articles on the bulletin boards and door. They will give you information about illnesses that are currently terrorizing your neighborhood, and I guarantee you will start experiencing symptoms you really hadn't noticed before now. And if that doesn't happen, you will be hatching a baby ulcer because you at least will be worrying about catching said illnesses.
8. As I alluded to in the previous point of Exam Room Etiquette, settle it in your mind that you will wait at least 1/2 or more hours until the doctor makes an appearance. You will be cold (because part of you is sticking out of that ridiculous gown), worried, bored, then irritated.
|This appointment was to happen at 11:00.|
10. If you see a sign like the one I noticed on the paper towel holder near the sink, DO NOT do what it is telling you to do. If you are singing and your doctor enters the room at that very moment, he may be scheduling another appointment for you, at another facility, if you know what I mean.
So that's my basic list of Etiquette Rules for the exam room.
Stay calm, remember the rules, and have a pleasant exam!