1. Always arrive right on time. Not early, but right on time. Even when you are on time, you will wait somewhere along the way.
2. Bring along your current insurance card every time, for if you accidentally hand over an expired card, it will create computer and staff chaos. It will get ugly and be accompanied by the threats of massive bills to be sent, followed by mountains of mail and paperwork that will be required to un-bill you when the correct insurance card is located.
3. Scan the waiting room and make some rapid calculations: sit as far away as possible from any other human in there. Take into account strollers and large bags too. They could be just as cootie-laden as the people. Do not worry if other patients are deciding that you are unsociable.
4. Take your coat off and hold it in your lap, not touching any armchairs or other things harboring germs.
5. Do not even think of reading one of those waiting room end table magazines. You can't even imagine the multitude of sicknesses or diseases that have touched those pages. It is better to be bored and just people watch. Stealthily of course.
7. Do not allow yourself to dwell on the fact that whoever was sitting in your chair before you may have had head lice, body lice, bedbugs, or any other type of livestock infestation. In fact, don't even sit at all. You can wander around, making it look like you are reading the interesting articles on the bulletin boards. Of course you wanted to know where you can drop off all your excess plastic milk jugs, right?
Stay tuned for tomorrow's post! Waiting Room Sanity (Part 2)