Friday, August 3, 2012

If These Were Olympic Sports, I Would Medal

Like many other people, I've been glued to the TV watching the Olympics every evening.  (Of course I have snuck a few peeks at the ladies' Judo events online during the day, too.)  I am constantly amazed at what the human body can do.  The training regimens, the intense motivation and the sheer determination to win - these athletes are just awesome.

Although I'm currently sidelined from my own favorite sport of Judo due to some injuries and health issues, I have been thinking about things.  Remember I have a wild imagination at times!

I feel fairly certain that if the following events were Olympic sports, I'd have a fine chance of medaling, and here are my predictions:

1.  Recipe clipping
     I would hold my own with the best out there as far as quantity of clipped recipes and notebook organization thereof.  Not a week goes by that I don't clip a recipe from somewhere.  However, since we are not taking into consideration how many of these recipes I have actually made, I will earn a BRONZE medal.

2.  Dishwasher Loading
     There are only a few people in the world, and definitely none in my household, that can fit more dirty dishes into one dishwasher load than I can.  Years of training and hatred of hand washing dishes has prepared me for this elite level of competition.  I'm feeling really confident that I will achieve a BRONZE medal.

3.  People Watching
     I've been training in this event since toddlerhood, modeling the behavior of my coach, my mother.  I can scan a crowd and immediately absorb the beauty, the sizes, the outfits, the weirdnesses.  My brain registers all of it, and enjoys doing so.  The SILVER medal is mine, for I will only be outdone by my mom.  She will absorb it all, and then be able to recall details 10 or more years later.  She's incredible.  She will take the Gold, no contest.  

4.  Laundry Folding/Fitting
     This sport requires the contestant to not only fold the laundry, but also to fit the most laundry into one basket.  Rules of the contest require the athlete to be able to carry his own full basket up a flight of stairs to the bedroom area of the house.  I have practiced many years for my time in the spotlight, folding all the laundry for a family of six and sometimes as many as nine when other families lived with us on occasion.  My specialty is exquisite technical folds, followed by immaculate stacking skills.  I can fit an unbelievable amount of laundry into that one basket.  I may be holding the pile down with the tip of my nose, but I will nail the SILVER medal for sure.  (Only a taller athlete will be able to manage a higher load.)
5.  Travel Planning
     I got this.  This is my moment to shine.  If anything, I over-train in this event, and shortchange myself of sleep when I'm working on a trip.  Unique accommodations, interesting routes, points of interest, meals, museums, you name it, I include it all in my trips.  I'm not even sure how many fully written trips are on my shelf waiting to be taken.  And let me tell you, the husband/lover/best friend will verify that I write a good trip, based on the travels we have taken so far.  Yup, I got this, the GOLD is mine. 

How about you?  What medals will you take home?


  1. Audible bodily functions. Gold? No. They'd have to invest another billion dollars on top of the $14.5 billion they already have to develop a new, absurdly valuable metal. I'd be awarded three of those new medals.

  2. I would do best in dog walking and dishwasher loading! Thanks for a smile!:)
    from the photo-girl: Eli