So I got thinking about this. When exactly does a person become a geezer? Is it at a certain age? I don't think so, because I can think of some very old people who in my mind are NOT geezers.
I think it happens gradually - a shift over time into THE STATE OF GEEZERDOM. However, I think we can all agree that there are certain definite indicators that make it clear that you have arrived.
What are those indicators? My son Caleb and I had a pleasant lunch the other day, and we brainstormed this issue. Although he is 24 and I am a couple of years older than that, we both were in agreement as we talked. GEEZERS have solid identifying features.
Here is your chance to win a prize. Enter this contest by filling in the blank:
You know you're a GEEZER, when __________________________________________.
Send your contest entry to my email at firstname.lastname@example.org or post it in a comment here on my blog by next Friday, June 8. The winning entry will receive a prize from Tom Sturgis Pretzels, my family's pretzel manufacturing business, and I will post the winners and runners-up in a future blog.
****NOTE- I am officially a geezer. While entering my email address above, I had to have my son clarify how to write my email address. ****
Here are the ones my son and I came up with. YOU KNOW YOU'RE A GEEZER WHEN.....
1. ...you can't understand how an email made it to its recipient...on a Sunday.
2. ...you tuck your flannel shirt into your track suit pants.
3. ...you have to decide HOW to get out of bed.
4. ...your teeth fall out at a restaurant.
5. ...you pay everything with cash.
6. ...you get excited when you find a coupon for birdseed.
7. ...you pass gas and it's not just...(well you know).
8. ...you use your brake more than your gas pedal.
9. ...your shoes are strictly black, white, or beige.
10. ...you wear a plastic rain bonnet.
11. ...you argue with the GPS lady.
12a. ...you leave CVS Pharmacy with more bags than when you leave the grocery store.
12b. ...you do all your shopping at CVS Pharmacy.
13. ...you drive 8 miles (16 miles roundtrip) to another grocery store so you can use your 50 cent coupon.
14. ...buying a greeting card requires a trip to the mall.
15. ...you arrive at your destination and forgot how you got there and why you are there.
16. ...your sunglasses cover more than 80% of your face.
17a. ...you actually read your junk mail.
17b. ...you save the envelopes from your junk mail to re-use.
17c. ...the word "re-use" is used hourly in your vocabulary.
18. ...you push your shopping card smack dab down the middle of the aisle. Slowly. And still manage to knock things off the shelves.
19. ...you have 1743 used bread bags, stored in a plastic bag saver thingie.
20. ...your sock drawer contains 7 or 8 pairs of hospital issued gripper socks.
I'll stop now. We all know and love GEEZERS. Please don't forget to send in your contest entry by next Friday. I'll leave you with this little video of some GEEZERS having too much fun: