Monday, December 3, 2012

There Oughta Be a Law!

If I were a member of our local Borough Council, I'm sure we'd always have lots of business to attend to at our very important monthly Borough Council meetings.

There are donuts to be eaten.  With lots of coffee.

We'd be making sure the Shade Tree Commission is appropriately hounding people to replace trees that aren't on the acceptable "list."

We'd be looking for areas of violation - people who aren't renovating their properties according to "acceptable" Victorian styles.

We'd be diligently researching newer methods of delineating parking spaces.  Things like road tape.

We'd be interviewing thousands of applicants, making sure we select the sternest Meter Maid possible.  

We'd be reminding borough residents about the ticketing procedure for cars parked on street cleaning day.  It is irrelevant that this ritual has been in place since the beginning of time, and is clearly marked with signs on every street.  Apparently it also requires a newsletter, which requires taxes to pay for.

And on and on.  Lots and lots of IMPORTANT business to attend to.

However, in my humble opinion, there is one area of business that they are NOT attending to, which I assert is a very gross piece of negligence.  And, an issue that directly affects the appearance of our town, previously awarded the designation of one of America's "Ten Best Small Towns."

That is, pumpkins.

If I were on the town council, I'd be bringing up this issue, putting it on the table, doing something about it.  There oughta be a law, I say.

As much as I love pumpkins, and I do love pumpkins - see my previous blog post here if you need proof, I still think there need to exist controls and limitations.

I believe there should be a violation of some sort administered to those homes that leave their pumpkins out beyond Thanksgiving.  Pumpkins are obviously a Fall happening, and the months of late August, September, October, and most of November are CERTAINLY enough for the displaying of pumpkins.

After Thanksgiving, NO.  Take them away and dispose of them.  A violation is coming!

Look at these post-Thanksgiving Day pumpkins that have gone way past their prime:

This is just wrong and should receive a violation notice.  In fact, rotten pumpkins sitting around after Thanksgiving could very well be the reason the town lost its "One of Ten Best Small Towns" award.

Now that I think of it, I'm even willing to take this argument one step further.  If I were on the Borough Council, I think this next issue would need to be put onto the meeting agenda, YESTERDAY.  That is, those folks that overlap the seasons - homes that still have pumpkins out AND now also have Christmas decorations.  I'm of the mindset that this negligent behavior could possibly, no probably should, no definitely requires a VIOLATION FINE.

Those people, whoever they are, that come around looking for towns to give awards to, will drive right on through if they see any of this:

I am ashamed to say I know these people.   Christmas bows + pumpkins, ugh.
This is a heinous disregard for the delineation of seasonal decor.
Just take that pumpkin out of there, please!
Violation/Fine worthy

Well, I'm sure those Borough Council members have lots of important stuff to talk about, but perhaps they need to stop and take a look at what's really going on around them in our little town.  If not, our pretty little town could just fall down around us.                                            


  1. I LOVE this and would back you at a Council meeting! Although, I think maybe those pink bows might be from October's Breast Cancer Awareness "Paint the Valley Pink" event, which means those folks are just a wreath away from a triple violation. While we're at it, we should have a statute that requires retail outlets in the borough to deal with holidays one at a time in the proper sequence, i.e. no Halloween stuff before Labor Day, no Thanksgiving stuff before Halloween, and, most importantly, NO CHRISTMAS DECOR UNTIL AFTER THANKSGIVING!!!!! There ought to be a law about that one, for sure!

  2. There are enough laws, what is needed is more comments sense and less lazyness.