Thursday, December 20, 2012

December Snakes

I believe I'm about due to remind you all that I HATE SNAKES.  If you are a new reader to my blog, you can see my previous discussions of my feelings about snakes in this post and this one too.  Also read this blog if you're still not convinced of my absolute, non-negotiable hatred of snakes.

So when I returned home after being out of state for the last 2 1/2 weeks, my husband calmly told me, "There's something you might want to know."  The seriousness on his face and the foreboding sound of his voice had me thinking that perhaps a family member had suffered a terrible accident while I was away.  Or something of the like.

He calmly continued,  "There are snakes all around the town now."


This is my worst nightmare coming true, if you know me.

Incredulously I replied, "What do you mean, there are snakes all around?"

He went on to explain that he had seen a dead one out back in our alley, smashed to death recently by a car.  And he saw another dead one in the street one block up from us, also killed recently by a vehicle.

In horror, it dawned on me - if there was one earlier this summer in my yard (here it is),

and now there were two more nearby IN DECEMBER, then yes, the whole town is virtually crawling now with snakes.

To me, this is immeasurably worse than death on Friday by the Mayan whatever-it's-supposed-to-be.

My husband in his great wisdom and lack of reassurance speculated then that perhaps the snakes are loose all over town, because of an excavation project that is currently going on in the town center along the banks of a creek.  Workmen are digging into the rocky sides of the creekbed, where we all have seen snakes.  They can be spotted every time we walk by the creek, as they sun themselves on the rocks.

And now their homes have been disturbed and they are spreading throughout the town!  And here's the thing:  if we are seeing snakes near my home, which is four blocks over and two blocks down from the project, imagine how many displaced snakes are loose even closer to the epicenter!

Well.  No, all is not well.

This will never be me:

No.  Just no way.  Not for a bazillion bucks.  Ever.
But now,  this is me:

I do not know how I will be able to enjoy the outdoors now.  

And, I just installed a water feature in my back yard last month, with water gently falling and bubbling along its path.  Also lots of rocks, all along the water.....

Snake habitat?


  1. What gets me is the time of year that these creatures of rock denizens are out and about. My goodness! It's freezing outside at night now!!! Not only are there snakes in the ice time but they must be STUPID to the max! Or, there is a massive Jim jones style snake suicide event taking place.. I like the sound of that one.

  2. Snake massage? Seriously? We find some large ones here on our farm and they absolutely scare me to death.

  3. ewww I also HATE snakes....I just need to see one here in Fl and I'm off back to Canada...

  4. I guess I am the odd ball because I like snakes. Of course I respect them but don't mind handling them. When I went to Penn State I had one as a pet.

  5. OMG, that massage doesn't even look relaxing. The snakes' natural habitat was disturbed, I hope they don't bother knocking on people's houses. My cousin has snakes, big ones. Like really huge pythons. When they were small, I had a picture with both of them around my neck. But now each of them are many, many times heavier than me I'll get smashed when I do it again. I was brave because they sort of "tamed" and they have no more glands producing venom. But wild snakes, no matter how small, will scare the headlights out of me.