If you are a True Camper, you know that camping and good food go together. There are certain things a True Camper should eat when in the woods:
bacon and eggs
hot dogs and baked beans
So I was making my camping menu for the weekend, when, unbelievably, I came across some appalling aberrations of the traditional s'mores recipe. Now s'mores have been in existence at least since 100 B.C., I'm sure, and you just DO NOT MESS WITH the 3 true ingredients:
Let us be clear on these:
1. Graham crackers - do not even think of amending by using cinnamon graham crackers.
2. Chocolate - just several squares, usually 2, of good old Hershey's milk chocolate bars.
3. Marshmallows - regular, large-sized, and toasted over the campfire.
4. Campfire - I assert that a s'more made in the microwave does not have the proper toasting and is therefore a hideous mutant.
idiots innovators are promoting IMPOSTOR s'mores, which may contain any of the following ridiculous ingredients, and therefore, s'mores purists shall religiously avoid them:
Impostor ingredients can be these and others:
1. Banana slices
2. Peanut butter
3. Marshmallow fluff stuff in a jar
4. Chocolate chips
5. Tortillas - what?
Yes, one particularly heinous s'mores recipe alteration I found, in the camping cookbook Fix It In Foil, puts crunchy peanut butter, miniature marshmallows, and miniature chocolate chips into a tortilla, of all things, and then roasts it all in a Foil Pack! Not a stick or marshmallow fork anywhere in sight! It's wrong. Just so wrong.
And one last thing: look at the gargantuan marshmallows I found:
|Impostors on the bottom|
What exactly are those monsters for? Using one of them in a s'more would completely throw off the proper taste proportions. I have even seen flat, square marshmallows for sale. How do you put one of those on a stick to toast?
I say, let's just keep it RIGHT. What do you think?
Until next time, have a sweet, sweet day.