Mattresses, Gambling and Salesmen

The decision was finally made:  we would go shopping for and purchase a new mattress. Although the present one was not really that old, there were two obvious "body dents," and those dents were causing every-morning backaches for the husband/lover/best friend and me.  It is a pillow-top mattress, meaning we could rotate it every few months but not flip it.  So we went to our local Sleepy's Mattress Store to do business with THE MATTRESS PROFESSIONALS.

Plenty of choices

The whole process was stressful to me and here's why:

I am not a GAMBLER.

I do not like GAMBLING.

BUYING A BED is GAMBLING,  therefore I do not like BUYING BEDS.

However, today I BOUGHT A BED.

Therefore, I am A GAMBLER.

(I only like the penny slots at Vegas.)

On arrival at Sleepy's the hungry circling barracuda polite salesman greeted us and gave us a "highly scientific test" in order to determine what type of mattress would best suit each of us.  Here you see Bob taking his test, where apparently hundreds of probes or sensors or something inside this bed are "reading your body and your sleep style."

The concept of having a mattress with two different firmnesses is actually brilliant, though very expensive.  I took the test and results showed we both need a very firm mattress.

So now we know what kind of bed we need, let's go pick our mattress.   But wait.  Salesmen!  I need to go on a roll about salesmen.

I tell the salesman that we DO NOT WANT a pillow-top mattress.
Here is the first mattress he wanted us to lay on:

Do you see the pillow-top?

I tell the salesman AGAIN that we DO NOT WANT a pillow-top.

He takes us to a second pillow-top.

I tell the salesman A THIRD TIME that we DO NOT WANT a pillow-top.

He finally shows us something else.

Bob tells me to leave him alone for a while while he takes a nap. 

I smack him.

We pick a mattress.

The salesman asks us if we need new pillows.

I say JUST ONE for Bob, because I love my pillow and don't need a new one.

He writes the order up for TWO.

He also says we will need to buy one of those plastic bag type mattress sleeves that make me drown in my own sweat "moisture-wicking mattress protectors."

I say I don't want one.

He says the warranty won't be valid without one.

I say I will die.

He says "OK I will throw it in for free."

I will die.

Anyway, the order was placed, and we were assured that we are in for the best sleeping of our lives and blah blah blah, and by that time I was so cranky that we ended up going on OUR HOT DATE (see yesterday's post) just to calm ourselves down.

It's no wonder that salesmen get the reputations they get.

I can only hope that our latest GAMBLE will result in better SLEEP.   At least we crossed one item off of our Things TO Do list.