Super Bowl 2013: An Uninformed Woman's Perspective

Every year the husband/lover/game commentator and I go through the ritual of watching the Super Bowl game, whether or not we have any interest in the two competing teams.  It's just the thing to do.  So, we found ourselves in front of the television last night at 6:30 PM EST, ready for the big showdown.

Some years we join with friends for the grand event, but this year it was just us at home with each other and the puppy.  We didn't even have any spectacular Super Bowl munchies.  It was cereal for him and a plate of tortillas with melted cheese for me.  And a pig ear for the puppy.

Now I'm not an overly crazed football fanatic.  It's just not my sport.  I'd much prefer to watch a good judo match, or even a basketball game.  In fact, I understand only the very basics of the four downs system and also that a touchdown gets about six points, I think.

So I thought I'd share for you today just some of the random thoughts that rolled around in this lady's head while watching the game last night.  Oddly, most of them have very little to do with the actual football game itself.

1.  I wonder how much a Super Bowl referee gets paid.  Must be quite a lot.  Do they need to have training in fighting?  They get caught up in some pretty ugly squabbles at times.

2.  Why do the referees wear baseball hats to a football game?  That's a fashion faux pas in my book.

3.  What is so special about the right shoe of the punter?  Those guys look goofy wearing two different shoes.

4.  I wonder what percentage of players have no tattoos.  Is it a contest to see who can have the most?

5.  I had turned the tv on earlier in the day.  Sportscasters were already talking about the game about eight hours prior to it.  What in the world do they have to talk about for that long?

6.  I knew a guy whose job involved traveling to games and operating the 1st and Ten Graphics System.  I think of that every time I see the blue line of scrimmage and the yellow first down line.  Too bad the players can't see it too.  Actually if it weren't for those lines, I might not have a clue what is going on.

7.  Why do some of those players wear a dish towel hanging out of their pants?

8.  What all is up there in those football helmets?  Speakers?  Music?  Snacks?

9.  This is the first football game in which I noticed some guys on the sidelines wearing those kangaroo type vests that hold several extra footballs.  Why do they change balls anyway?  Are they too dirty to use?

10.  Is it just me, but why do some of the players not look very much like football players?  (They just look like fat guys.)

11.  The Calvin Klein male underwear commercial was possibly more interesting than the game.  Oops -  did I say that?

12.  Is there such a thing as a technical foul in football?  I saw some pretty unkind pushing and shoving going on at times.

13.  Where are all the cheerleaders?  In years past, they were seen at least every five minutes or so.

14.  I'd like to see one of those little computer thingies on the quarterback's wrist up close.  I wonder if he can check Facebook while nothing's happening.

15.  I learned that a 30 second commercial cost $4 million this year.  My favorites were:
     Oreo's "Whisper Fight"
     Audi's "The Prom"
     Best Buy's Amy Poehler's skit
     Doritos goat skit

16.  One thing I knew well before the halftime show even started - Beyonce was going to wear something small, and she was going to sing big.

17.  Did the Ravens get stupid during the power failure or what?

18.  Did Jim and John (brothers and opposing coaches) go out together after the game?

19.  A camera shot zoomed in on the parents of Jim and John.  I wonder which team they were rooting for?

20.  How did the announcer know in that very second that the 109 yard run towards the end of the game was the longest in all of Super Bowl history?  Shouldn't he check somewhere before he makes a statement like that?


It's a lot to think about for sure.  So many details, but there you have it.  I've laid the workings of my little brain out for all to see.

Too bad there were no wardrobe malfunctions this year, though.  I could've gone on quite a roll about that, believe you me.